“Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”-Winston Churchill
Pain, suffering, failure, obstacles, adversity, and struggle are all apart of the human experience.
It’s through these experiences that we become adaptable to future challenges and how we build a mental resiliency towards the tougher parts of life.
My mom died about five years ago shortly after I graduated high school to the battle of cancer. This event completely changed the way I looked at the world and myself. At that moment I realized that death is a very real thing.
For about a year after she passed away I was in a dark place mentally and spiritually because I felt lost, confused, uncertain, and scared about my future. I didn’t know how I could handle more of my loved ones passing on or people I cared about.
By dedicating most of my time to personal development and self improvement, I have been able rebuild myself. Every day will be a battle between positive and negative beliefs but the more you interfere with the negative patterns the easier they become to change.
These 7 key pillars will help you develop a warrior mentality:
Stay Self Aware
The key to becoming a mental warrior is by developing and strengthening your self awareness muscle. Self awareness is the ability to understand your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and behaviors. Why is that important?
By improving this trait, you’ll be able to:
- Identify why you’re feeling a certain emotion at any given moment
- How to change your thoughts immediately
- Identify negative habits, beliefs and behaviors
How can you improve this skill?
This skill can be developed by asking yourself better questions, journaling, meditation, massage, exercise and anything that forces you to focus on your inner thoughts and how you’re feeling overall.
You become the master of yourself by developing self awareness and developing a deeper understanding of your inner world. You spend the most time with yourself and it’s important to make your inner dialogue positive and encouraging.
Keep A Positive Attitude
“You cannot stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
I know many people bash on positive thinking and on keeping a positive attitude but when you face a real tragedy, it’s what keeps your head above water.
My mindset and beliefs about life after my mom passed away was very pessimistic and negative. I’ve learned from other great individuals who have faced hardships who say if you continue to focus on the event then you can live there forever mentally and physically if you don’t move forward.
As a massage therapist I can assure you that the human body definitely carries past stress, trauma and pain. People carry stress in different areas of the body and some of these areas trigger emotional releases if its from old trauma or injuries. Massages help you become very aware of your body and how it feels.
The reason I’m writing this article today is because I’ve been able to maintain a positive attitude in mostly every situation in my life after my moms death. I definitely have my moments of anger, frustration, sadness, and irritation but I know I’m becoming highly aware at noticing these toxic emotions or thoughts.
The more aware you are of toxic thoughts and emotions, the easier it becomes to change them in the moment. The key is not allowing negative emotions or feelings to be your main focus of thought. This will make you bitter or frustrated for the rest of the day or week if you don’t change your thought patterns.
Keeping a positive attitude makes you feel much happier about life and more people want to be around you. If you go through life constantly thinking about the bad outcomes and focusing on everything that’s not going good then that’s all you’ll experience.
Focus on the good and the good gets better.
Move Your Body
A very practical way to overcome the bad times of life is by doing some kind of physical activity. This can be done by walking, hiking, yoga, biking, lifting weights, squats, running etc. It’s all considered a type of exercise and these activities will get you out of your head and make you feel better.
The goal for these activities is to take you out of your head and to focus that energy somewhere else. Research shows that spending ten to fifteen minutes walking outside can increase your mood and greatly reduce stress. One point for nature.
When the negative emotions or feelings start to arise, that’s a sign for you to start moving your body. Immediately go for a quick walk, do some jumping jacks, pushups, or begin stretching. Go the bathroom and splash cold water on your face. It’s always refreshing and feels like your doing a mental cleanse.
The mind body connection is a very real concept and if you can discipline the body you can discipline the mind.
Discipline the mind, discipline the body.
Listen to inspiring content
Can I just say…game changer.
One of the biggest contributors to my overall happiness and success is listening, learning, and absorbing hundreds of hours of inspirational content. They are compilations of inspiring speeches, audiobooks, keynotes, and conversations of the most successful and influential people in the world.
Some of the most inspiring people I’ve come across are:
Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins, Brendon Bouchard, Gary Vaynerchuck, Tim Ferriss, Eric Thomas, Les Brown, Zig Ziglar, and Jack Canfield just to name a few. Please go study and research these remarkable human beings.
All I can say is thank you Youtube and thank you to all the powerful pages that have reprogrammed my mindset for success, happiness, and prosperity in every area of my life. When you start having bad thoughts and feelings check out these pages:
You become the conversations you have, the books you read, the music you listen to, the television you watch, the shows you watch, the pages you follow on social media, the comments you read on facebook, and everything you pay attention to and spend your time on.
Surround yourself with motivational, positive, inspiring, influential, and encouraging books, articles, people, music, quotes, videos, podcasts, and audiobooks. Everything around you should inspire you to grow and improve.
There is certainly a power in showing or expressing appreciation for things, people, experiences, and memories that you already have. You can’t be grateful and angry at the same time. This is why gratitude is your power and your anchor when you feel upset or frustrated.
One of the key habits of highly successful and positive individuals is their relationship with gratitude. If you can get into a state of gratitude firstthing in the morning, you will own the entire day. Feeling grateful puts into perspective how blessed you already are which makes you feel confident.
Success is not a destination it’s a journey. This means you become successful through continuously overcoming challenges everyday and building resiliency to the adversity of life.
Be grateful for the hardships of life because it allows us to be thankful for all the good we do have. Tell yourself “I am thankful for the strength and courage to overcome my biggest life obstacles”. This trains your brain to start looking for better solutions to your problem.
The habit of journaling has truly been a secret power for me and it helps me organize my thoughts and emotions in just a few sentences. I use it first thing in the morning to write three gratitude statements before I jump into the day.
If you don’t have a journal I recommend getting one. Some of the greatest minds in history journaled everyday including Marcus Aurelius and Benjamin Franklin.
When you’re facing a difficult situation or you’re having a hard time trying to understand your emotions, write down whatever is on your mind on paper. Don’t think about it, just write your thoughts onto paper.
This will help you gain some clarity on how you’re feeling and immediately takes you out of your head. The secret sauce to overcoming negative circumstances and situations is by trying to understand what you can learn from it and if there’s a way you can immediately start moving forward.
The exercise described above is called mind dumping and it’s super helpful when you’re feeling uncertain about something or just need to get out of your head. Personally, I stay in my head sometimes by staying too concentrated on negative situations which puts me in a bad mood.
The key to moving the needle forward is by changing your focus and transferring that energy into something else. You will remarkably increase your self-awareness through journaling and you will gain a deeper understanding of who you are.
Life is short
The main thing that my moms death taught me is that life is short and everyone is on the life clock. My perspective about life has changed forever. I don’t want to leave this world without leaving an impact because I feel that is my mission.
We should all work towards inspiring others to take action on their dreams and never give up, no matter the adversity. You don’t want to be eighty years old regretting your life because you didn’t take action on your dreams.
I’ve been able to turn my adversity into my motivation to take urgency on my goals and relentlessly work towards them each day. I use that experience to remind me that my time is very valuable and time spent on negativity is truly time wasted.
Throughout the day I’m constantly reminding myself that if today was my last day to live, how would I act, think, and behave? Who would I talk to? Tomorrow isn’t promised and you should be trying to become better every single day knowing that.
The people that you love and care about are not going to be here forever. Who could you spend more time with? Who needs to know you appreciate them? I know there are some things I wish I could of said to my mom but I don’t dwell on it. Tell people you know you appreciate them and care about them.
Stop going through the motions of life and take charge of it by spending your valuable time doing the things you love and enjoy. Take responsibility for your life because you’ve been given the gift of choice. You can choose your thoughts, emotions, beliefs and habits. Choose wisely.