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We all think about each other

As long as you spent more than, say, a few weeks together (I can’t speak to the micro-relationship, though I will say I still think about a few of mine), then odds are good: your ex still thinks about you.

This is human nature. Of course they do.

We all think about our exes.

Because we think about all kinds of people from our life.

I think about a guy I only casually hung out with for a few months, going on rides, grabbing beers. I saw his place a few times and I even used the restroom once, sudsing my hands with the yellow bar of soap sitting in a scallop dish, within reach of the shower. We never even made out, let alone had sex, but i distinctly remembered the place smelled amazing, like him.

And if we think about people like him, we definitely think about people we date “for real.” I think about “real” exes all the time.

And I know our exes think of us too.

Things will remind them of you

Forever. I still think of people I dated like ten years ago when I see something that reminds me of them — like The Office, which I watched religiously with my college boyfriend, or classic rock (pretty much any song), which was another, or the smell of baked goods; high school crush.

Your exes will think of you every time they see your favorite brand of chips at the grocery store. They will think of you when ordering an iced coffee, because you always did, even in the dead of winter. They’ll think about you when teaching someone to use chopsticks, or overhearing someone use that word you hated, or boarding a plane, because you both used to always text each other before your frequent business flights.

They will think of you randomly

They’ll be at the office one day, or driving along the coast with their new significant other at their side, or walking the dog, and there will be a moment where they think about you and wonder how it would have been.

I know this because it happens to all of us.

When I hear my exes favorite songs (e.g., Stuck in the Middle with You — Stealers Wheel, just for one) out of the blue in a bar on a Saturday afternoon, I still think of them. When I think of cities, I think of them. Certain foods, smells, movies, songs — all them.

They will have some tiny, tiny threads that still connect you

Pandora notifies me when someone else is logged in. My ex is the only other person with my password. Another ex was one of 7 blog followers, and for years opened every email I sent from the account, announcing a new post.

I still have my a guitar pick from a guy I dated in high school (and most acoustic songs still remind me of him.)

They are human

And we all — all of us — think about our exes.

I still occasionally think about dudes I barely dated —some that I hung out with as few as 2 or 3 times, most of whom I never even hooked up with.

So if those are true, then you can imagine that I certainly still think about the more serious, multi-year relationships.

The difference, of course, and the thing we’re all wondering is whether there are still feelings. That, I can’t answer. It depends on the person. It depends on the relationship. It depends on how it ended.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. We all create our own reality, and we compartmentalize our past into our present to make a “forever” fabric.

And your ex thinks about you because you were a part of their tapestry, just like they were a part of theirs.

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