Original Link : https://medium.com/swlh/vulnerability-is-sincerity-2eea5f582227
Sharing your genuine self fosters true connection.
I have always avoided showing vulnerability in difficult situations. Even if part of me wanted to, another bigger and stronger part refused. Instead, something that looks a little like aloofness or maybe indifference can be seen on the surface — easily interpreted as bitchy or difficult. I have enough emotional intelligence to be aware of what is happening, yet near zero ability to change the behavior in the moment. Leading to lots of rumination regarding how something could have gone better in my head — maybe you can relate.
How confusing. To feel vulnerable because you are unable to show that you are vulnerable- all while emphasizing a hard exterior. And then off I go, to live in the aftermath. Aware that the situation could have been much different had I been able to *just let go*. But if I am being honest, then I must admit that there is a huge element of denial in the aftermath.
Here, self-preservation is truly self-sabotage.
Author and researcher Brené Brown states that “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”
Why would I spend such a large amount of energy only to complicate matters further? Hiding vulnerability is a self defense mechanism. Perhaps letting people see the real me is too difficult and that is where the problem begins.
The omission of our true selves is an attempt to hide from others. It feels safer to hide behind a stony exterior where we can believe that we are protected.
………. But I have been doing it all wrong as not showing vulnerability is a vulnerability in itself. Ugh.
Vulnerability is sincerity. It requires trust in oneself — more than that of the people around you. Trust that other’s views of you will not negatively challenge your own view of self and self-worth. Trust that we do not fall victim to outside influence so easily.
Trust in knowing that through the demonstration of your own vulnerability, you will be gifted with an element of theirs.
A sharing of sincerity… forging connection.
In difficult situations, moving past the fear that being vulnerable creates requires that we relinquish control. Their reaction will be based on our true self and the risk that they will see our real self and not approve can be terrifying.
The impact of their negative reaction is especially overwhelming when we mistakenly view ourselves solely through the eyes of another.
We fear the pain of rejection, judgement, disdain, and disappointment.
But the risk of never being sincere is filled with pain as well. Vulnerability is a practice, a leap of faith. It is somewhat beautiful that vulnerability is really a demonstration of strength and courage.
Be courageous. Be vulnerable and soft and kind and open and genuine. Be sincere. Just be you.
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”― Brené Brown