Original Link : https://medium.com/swlh/youve-got-the-love-ce77a5fed3aa

Seek and you shall find it — within

I’ve started to keep my phone on airplane mode for about 12 hours each day.

I usually switch it off one or two hours before going to sleep, although sometimes, I admittedly fall victim to my own ceaseless bingeing until my eyes feel delirious.

I am not fond of those moments—not because I feel like I am failing my own endeavour to be conscientious, but rather because it feels like the manifestation of some yet undiscovered inner force that still wishes to hold me back.

An aside :

It turns out that no matter how much therapy, meditation, breathing exercises, intention setting, recovery work, stretching, mindfulness or any other actively self healing work that you have done and still do, there will always be a little mischievous part of you bordering on malevolence that will find its way to manifest into your existence.

Noticing it do its work, as I’ve literally just done right now while writing the above paragraph, is already the biggest feat of all.

And so that is what I do : notice the bingeing, acknowledge it, forgive myself … and shut off the phone.

Important to note that I make no promises that tomorrow will be better aka tomorrow I will not binge on my phone.

Firstly, because essentially, tomorrow inevitably always is better and we are in an endless process of betterment simply by living; but, second, also because I can only actually be better through my actions, instead of perpetually promising to be better and never achieving it.

I suppose that was a second aside. Onto the story.

When I wake up in the morning, having the phone on airplane mode is a blessing.

A space of opportunity presents itself to me as I emerge, my mind fresh and my body usually well rested, my subconscious brain having flushed away what needs to be gone with and reordered my patterns in my sleep without needing any of my help at all.

I’ve been restored by my own body and gifted this new day without any work of my own. Honouring this by being disconnected from the vast world of virtual communication is a great experience.

You find your mind drifting, vagabonding, springing into being in a whole new way, simply through the act of not having to be inextricably pulled by the endless record of instantaneity that social media presents to us.

So I make sure to nourish my mind, my body and my soul appropriately before switching the phone back on. To have a strong enough centre that will support me throughout the day.

I try to be conscious when switching the phone back on.

To do it with care, and only when I feel ready.

It’s because I’ve come to realise that when I do de-airplane myself, I am subject to the onslaught of triggers and symptoms that such a marvellous and multifarious tool presents, and this is overwhelming for a hyper-analytical, sensitive and solitary soul as I am (and in which I am certain I am not alone).

A swift swipe, and there I am, connected to the world again.

And in that swipe there is the opening up to all sorts of possibilities.

The surprise of a warm comment, a kind email, an offer to collaborate, or simply messages of beautiful feedback from wonderful strangers who reacted to what I put out into this sphere.

But also silence, loneliness and the sense of not ever truly existing.

It’s easy to get sucked into it. And frankly, there are times when I catch myself completely forgetting the beautiful ritual that I put in place that morning prior to the reconnecting.

It hits you hard — does it really matter? Will they notice me? Do they care?

And that’s when I promptly realise that the questions I need to ask are rather : do I care? Do I notice these things that make me sink low rather than rise high? Do I do the things that matter to me?

And so that song by Florence comes into my head and I realise that this which we seek, when tuning into social media, is often simply a reflection of ourselves, an echo, a mirroring, rather than a connection.

And if we can rather work on what it is that we wish to emit, then we will certainly get that back. Energy is energy, even in the virtual realm.

So, if no one told you yet today :

you’ve got the love baby.

And you’ve got all you need to see this through.