Don’t allow other people’s fears to cast shadows of doubt.
Your brain is built to reinforce and regulate your life.
Your subconscious mind has something called a homeostatic impulse, which regulates functions like body temperature, heartbeat and breathing. Brian Tracy explained it like this: “Through your autonomic nervous system, [your homeostatic impulse] maintains a balance among the hundreds of chemicals in your billions of cells so that your entire physical machine functions in complete harmony most of the time.”
But what many people don’t realize is that just as your brain is built to regulate your physical self, as does it try to regulate your mental self. Your mind is constantly filtering and bringing to your attention information and stimuli that affirms your preexisting beliefs (this is known in psychology as confirmation bias) as well as presenting you with repeated thoughts and impulses that mimic and mirror that which you’ve done in the past.
It is also the realm in which you can either habituate yourself to expect, and routinely seek the actions that would build and reinforce, the greatest success, happiness, wholeness or healing of your life.
Here, a few ways to start retraining your mind to be your ally, not your enemy.
Be willing to see the unchangeable change.
The first step in creating massive change in your life is not actually believing that it’s possible, it’s being willing to seeif it is possible.
You are not going to be able to jump from being a complete skeptic to a wholehearted believer. The step between those is just being open to seeing what could be possible. You could maybe try sending a few “scary emails,” in which you proposition a client or partner for something that they do not have any reason to respond to. You might have a few dozen ignored messages, but eventually, someone will respond.
The point is that you’re willing to see if its possible… that’s what will change your life.
Give yourself permission to be successful.
Instead of regurgitating the same old narrative of believing you’ll be happy once you’re 10 pounds, one promotion and two life events down-the-line, work on changing your inner monologue to: “I allow my life to be good.”
Give yourself permission to be happy and successful, and not feel guilty about it. If you have a subconscious association between success being amoral, or corrupt, of course you’re not going to do what you need to do to live the life you want to live. Instead, give yourself permission to step into a whole, happy, healthy, grounded and meaningful existence.
Don’t allow other people’s fears to cast shadows of doubt.
The way people respond to news of your success will tell you how they are really doing in their lives.
If you announce your engagement, people who are in happy marriages will be elated for you. People who are in unhappy marriages will warn you that it is difficult and that you should enjoy your remaining time as “single” individuals.
The point is that other people’s fears are projections of their own situations. They have nothing to do with what you are or aren’t capable of.
Surround yourself with positive reinforcement.
Keep a bottle of champagne in the fridge. Make sure that the items that you see and touch most often bring you positivity and hopefulness. Keep an inspirational note on a post-it next to your computer. Unfollow people who make you feel bad about yourself and follow those who are constantly posting motivational messages and interesting ideas. Make your newsfeed a place that can catalyze your growth, instead of lessening your perception of your worth.
Speak your success as a present fact, not a future plan.
Though you shouldn’t say things like “I drive a convertible,” or “I am a CEO,” if they are not in fact true, do start speaking about what it is you want out of life not in the context that you will one day pursue it, but that you are already living it.
Instead of saying: “I hope to do that one day,” say, “I am strategizing how to do that now.” Instead of thinking: “I will be happy when I am in a different place in my life,” think, “I am completely capable of being happy right here and right now, nothing is holding me back.”
Create a vision space.
Being able to imagine what it is you want out of your life is absolutely essential for creating it, because if you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t know which way to turn first.
Once you have a crystal clear image in your mind for what it is you want and how it is you want to live, you are then capable of beginning to enact and create it. If you are still hazy or torn between what you want, you will be rendered incapable of taking real, meaningful action toward anything.
Whether you use a Pinterest board, blog, notebook or board, put together words and images that represent what you want and how you want to live.
Identify your resistance.
When our subconscious minds hold us back from pursuing something that we love, it is because we are holding a conflicting belief about it.
To identify your resistance, question yourself. Ask yourself why you feel better when you procrastinate, or why getting what you really want could actually put you in a place that makes you feel more vulnerable than ever. Find a way to meet those needs before you proceed.
Have a master plan for your life.
Forget five or even 10 year plans; so much changes over time it’s nearly impossible to set goals that you’ll be able to keep. Most likely, new or even better opportunities will surface, and though your life won’t look like you thought it would, you’re better off for that.
Instead, have a master plan. Identify your core values and motivations. Ask yourself what is the ultimate goal of what you want to accomplish while you are alive; imagine the kind of legacy you want to leave. Once you have your Big Picture values identified, you can make decisions for the long-term that align with your true self.
Start a gratitude journal.
The best way to start putting yourself in a headspace of “having” rather than “wanting” is to begin a gratitude practice. By expressing thanks for all that you do have, you shift your mindset from being hungry for change to feeling satisfied with where you are at. Nothing magnetizes abundance to you like gratitude. There’s a saying that once you believe you have enough, you are open to receiving more and more and more. That is undoubtedly true.
Start asking for what you want, even if you know you’ll be denied.
If someone asks you to do a consulting project, ask for the amount of money you truly want to earn for it. If your goal is to get a promotion in your organization, sit down with your higher up and make your intentions known. Reach out to brands you want to work with. Start asking for what you want, even if you have no reason to believe that anyone will actually give you any of those things. Eventually, they will.
Release your attachment to the “how.”
Your job is to identify the what, and then to work in tandem with other people for the how.
If your goal is to work remotely and run your own business, instead of giving up if your first attempt fails, try reimagining how else you could achieve your ultimate vision in a new way that is more financially lucrative.
The point is that life will always surprise you with how things come to fruition. Instead of being obsessively attached to every little detail working out the way you think it should, be open to potential and possibility, even if it’s something you never imagined before.
Surround yourself with allies.
Start spending time with people who are ambitious, supportive and creative.
If you’re hanging out every weekend with people who are likewise as unhappy with their lives, you aren’t going to receive an abundance of support if you try to break free and do your own thing. Remember that you will truly become who you spend the most time with, and choose who that is very carefully.
Fill your “dead air” time with affirmation and motivation.
When you’re on your commute each morning, listen to a motivational speech or podcast. While you’re doing the dishes or driving, tune into a talk show that relates to the type of business you’re trying to do. Infuse your life with as much affirmation and motivation as possible. You may need to hear the lessons more than once, but they will seep into your brain over time, and eventually, you will find yourself acting on wisdom received from those who are where you want to be.