Original Link : https://medium.com/better-marketing/writing-about-your-pain-will-help-you-build-a-strong-following-f88ab928a1e0

It can bring out the best in you as a writer

Something surprising happened last week. It was a revelation.

I felt immense pain in my heart over a situation in my personal life. As a result, I wrote several pieces from a completely different place in my mind.

For the first time in several years, the words came out differently. They had a lot more feeling surgically inserted into each sentence. Readers didn’t read what I was saying; they told me in emails that they felt it.

See, writing is about touching a reader. When a reader feels emotion in the words you write, they listen differently. They listen more closely to what you have to say. But connecting with that emotion is hard. If it were easy, as writers, we’d do it every time and have all of our articles reach 50,000 claps.

Finding that intersection between helpfulness and an emotional connection with yourself and the reader is a challenge.

Writing from comfort or boredom is dry BS

The natural place you start from when writing is boredom or comfort. In these states of mind, nothing amazing happens. The words you write are dry. Why? There’s no emotion in what you’re saying.

If you feel sleepy as you type, your words will appear lifeless to the reader, and the worst part is the reader won’t know why. Bored writing leads to cryptic headlines and messy explanations.

You feel nothing as you type so you’re directionless in your approach and don’t end up landing at an interesting place by the end of the story. Comfort and boredom lead to terrible writing.

Pain, emotion, conflict, and inspiration lead to the best writing you’ve ever done in your life. If you can find that place, you’ll uncover a whole different side of writing that will secretly work in your favor.

That place will take you on a wild ride as a writer. You’ll meet major publications, book publishers, opportunities to earn an income, and other writers who become friends. Let’s find that place for you.

Here’s how to use pain to bring out the best in your writing.

Focus on the Situation and Pretend Another Person Is Going Through It

If all you do is focus on your own pain, you’ll become depressed. But if you focus on your pain and how you can extract value from it and transplant that value into another person’s mind, then you’ve transcended the pain. Your pain has elevated your writing.

So take the pain and pretend the reader is feeling that pain. How would you tell them to take that pain and get a benefit from it? What would that pain feel like if it could help rather than hinder the reader?

Coach the reader through the pain. Feel what they feel. Show them the barriers to their pain and how they can break through it.

Share the Pain, Don’t Hide It

Talking about pain is hard. We all wear masks at times, and pretending we’re just fine when we’re not is an easy game to play, especially if you write on the internet.

If you’re going to use your pain to bring out the best in you, you have to share it all. You have to tell the whole story, not just the part of the story that makes you look good or that feels safe to talk about.

We can’t learn from your writing if you only give us half the lesson. Yes, the pain is scary but by sharing it, we get to feel safe having learned from your experience.

Pain is uncomfortable and it will do more for a reader than sharing a review of the latest Spiderman movie that helps them escape into comfort and numb their pain.

Your pain enhances the reader’s feeling of their pain, and that is the beautiful place where action and inspiration come from.

Pain Is Beauty

There is something incredibly beautiful about pain. It has its own quirkiness that is hard to describe.

Pain comes from that deep place inside of you that is connected to your existence, mortality, and purpose. Pain is beautiful because it ultimately leads to growth if you give yourself permission to experience it.

Pan is beautiful because it can be helpful and that’s what humanity needs right now. Your pain links the hearts of humans together and that connectedness is beautiful to watch while simultaneously being invisible to the naked eye. You can only feel the connection; you can’t see it.

Use the Pain to Inspire Rather Than Depress

If all I did was tell you about my pain, you’d feel pretty depressed. “What’s the point of life?” you might say to yourself.

But my pain has brought out the best in my writing lately, and it can do the same for you because readers tell me it inspires them. I don’t want readers to be depressed. I want them to be inspired to see pain as an opportunity, to see pain as a forced hand towards action that might just change their life.

I don’t talk about pain for vanity metrics or views; I talk about pain because it’s therapy for me and inspiration for the audience.

Both sides win when you talk about pain as a writer.

Offer One Takeaway From Your Pain

You can tell us how your heart was broken by your ex-lover, or how your business partner stole $250,000 from you, or how you became unemployed. All of it is meaningless, though, if you don’t offer a takeaway.

What’s the lesson from your pain?

How can we avoid making the same mistake?

What is one quote we can take away with us that we can look back on when we feel like giving up?

Pain Helps the Audience Not Give Up

There’s a point where each of us will want to give up. We’re wired to struggle and with that struggle come regular decisions to give up.

A writer’s struggle between who they are and who they want to be is what fascinates a reader.

When you share your pain, you help the audience decide not to give up. If you didn’t give up because of that painful situation, perhaps we don’t need to give up with ours?

So are you willing to embrace pain and talk about it? Can we finally hear the real writer’s voice hiding inside of you? Can we finally feel the words you have to write rather than just read them and click away?

In your next story, I want you to find a way to connect with your pain. Then, I want you to extract that pain onto a blank page and leave us with one takeaway that can be helpful.

Pain is the hidden portal to a world of writing opportunities that will change your life.