Original Link : https://exploringyourmind.com/people-arent-worth-pain/
Some people aren’t worth the pain. That’s why, in order to avoid suffering, it’s important to surround yourself with pleasant people who you can fully enjoy a relationship with, both the advantages and the disadvantages. It’s important that balance is achieved so that both people can enjoy positive feelings.
People who deserve happiness are the ones who love, value, and care for their friends with respect and consideration. We’ll start to deserve happiness when we set aside our judgments and expectations, and stop trying to coerce others to do what we want.
We will be deserving of happiness when the other person knows that they have us by their side, without needing special conditions or circumstances to make it happen. That is, when we show them selfless appreciation and affection; instead of saying “today is for you and tomorrow is for me,” we should say “today is for both of us and tomorrow is too, because we help each other out.”
Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t know what you’re worth
If someone thinks you “ask for too much,” it’s only because you’re worth a lot and you’re not afraid to show it. You won’t give up what you want for someone else. Because a love that begs is not love; it’s destined to become dark and painful and fall apart.
The difficulty with asking ourselves what love is lies in the fact that love is not a singular, unidimensional state, but rather a complex phenomenon that is experienced in many different relationships, whether they’re romantic or not.
Romantic lovers, partners, parents and children, and close friends show that in order to feel comfortable with someone you love, appreciation is not enough; you also need intimacy, affection, trust, and reciprocity.
That’s why we feel upset and misled when we feel unappreciated by or unequal to the other person in an affectionate relationship that requires a mutual exchange.
Basically, a relationship in which both people have equal value is a relationship in which neither person keeps tabs on the other. That is, each person responds to the needs of the other person. They have no qualms about giving them the attention they need, and they don’t keep track of how often they give it.
It’s not that healthy relationships don’t address the concept of equity, but rather that both people involved in the relationship are relaxed about it because they know that with time, something similar to equity tends to occur. That is, two people who value each other know that the other person will be there for them when they need it.
Sensitive communication can deepen the relationship
Sensitive communication can deepen satisfaction and intimacy in close relationships. However, honest communication with the people around us might not be as easy as it seems. It involves sharing negative feelings and things about ourselves that might not be so pleasant, which heightens our vulnerability. And without a doubt, we try not seem vulnerable.
This is where subtlety in communication and the ability to understand what is being conveyed comes in. The important thing in healthy relationships is to treat these vulnerabilities with care and respect.
That’s why we should be sensitive with others and avoid blame, judgment, punishment, and manipulation towards who they are and what they do. People show affection and respect for each other when they stop suggesting how they “should feel” or how they “should live their lives.”
Expectations result in poor communication, and an intersection of feelings that causes the balance to waver, letting pain win the battle. This lowers the chances of the relationship being happy, enthusiastic, comfortable, and trusting.