What can we do if we wish we were in a relationship but have not found the right person, yet? It is not always easy to be happy alone.
Most people share the fantasy that once we find that significant person, who will make us feel special, we will be happy.
According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development good relationships keep us happier and healthier.
As most things in life, being in a relationship has its advantages and disadvantages.
How Do You Feel When You are Alone?
When we are alone but wish we were in a relationship the most common feelings are:
- worry of not being good enough
- fear that nobody will love us
- worry of not being attractive or interesting enough
- fear that we will never find the right person
In order to be happy alone, we will have to entertain ourselves and find ways to remind us how wonderful, lovable, and special we are.
If we are happy with ourselves, we will more easily find and recognize the right person instead of stumbling in and out of unfulfilling relationships.
What is the Key to be Happy Alone?
If you know what is important to you besides being in a relationship, you’ll find purpose and engage in meaningful activities instead of feeling lonely.
The key to be happy alone is self-awareness.
Self-awareness is our ability to understand what we enjoy and what makes us happy.
Knowing yourself allows you to be aware of actions you can take to improve your mood regardless of being or not in a relationship.
When you are aware, you are able to take charge of your inner experiences that will determine how you feel. Moreover, self-awareness allows you to be true to yourself even when your emotions and thoughts are in conflict.
How to Increase Your Self-awareness?
- Journaling, writing down your thoughts and feelings every day will help you to evaluate the things that make you happy and what areas in your life need some changes.
- Self-assessing your moods and feelings by paying attention and acknowledging how you feel while completing different activities during the day.
- Reflecting on how to include more activities that make you feel happy in your every day life.
- Looking around you. What are some traits that you admire in others? You may be able to develop some of those skills yourself.
- Being mindful by becoming aware of your senses, thoughts, and feelings without judging them.
10 Strategies to Be Happy Alone
How can you spend more time with yourself and be happy?
1 – Appreciate Yourself
Sometimes when we are alone we feel worthless because it seems that nobody cares enough about us to engage in a meaningful relationship.
Therefore, a good starting point is to acknowledge all our wonderful qualities, and how much we have to offer to others.
Make a list or all your positive traits.
You may identify your strengths, good qualities and remember all your past successes.
Even if you would like to make some personality changes, appreciating all your positive traits will set you in the right mood for making these changes.
Here are some examples to get you started:
Creative: I can come up with new ideas and solutions easily
Honest: I value the truth and having integrity
Independent: I can complete tasks with minimum direction and supervision
Talkative: I easily initiate dialogue
Curious: I like to explore and learn new things
Here are more character traits to consider for your list.
Once you have at least 10 positive character traits on your list, read them, and celebrate yourself.
Love yourself just the way you are. Moreover, imagine how you would like your perfect partner to treat you and do it yourself.
2 – Set Goals
When we set goals we give ourselves direction and something to look forward to. Think about something you want to accomplish in a certain amount of time.
The goal has to be meaningful to you. Your goals will help you leave behind feelings of loneliness because you will be engaged in something that is meaningful to you.
If you go to work everyday, instead of mindlessly repeating the same routine, think about what you want to accomplish with your work.
3 – Learn Something New
Start by asking yourself, what am I curious about?
Follow your curiosity and explore areas you want to know more about. Learning something new will increase you confidence and self-esteem.
Don’t expect perfection, enjoy the process and have fun.
4 – Embrace the Time You Spend Alone
Schedule time for yourself to do what you love and to do what makes you feel good.
During this time focus your attention on everything that you love.
If you are not sure where to start, a self-help book may provide some additional ideas.
In Turn Your Happiness On you will find the most powerful, scientifically proven strategies to increase your feelings of happiness right now.
There are many different ways to fill your life with joy. Find out the strategies that will work best for you so that you can be happy alone even if you want a relationship.
5 – Make Your Surroundings Beautiful
You may argue that you don’t have time to clean and organize but living in a beautiful environment will make you happy.
Make changes to your surroundings that are pleasing to you. Look around you, do you like what you see?
How could you make this place more you?
When we are by ourselves we tend to be careless about our behavior because nobody is watching.
We may leave dirty plates in the sink, tissue paper scattered around, packets of food around the house, clothes and shoes stay wherever we take them off.
Even if this seems convenient and nobody will prompt us to clean up, it’s a good idea to spend some time cleaning up and organizing.
6 – Create Balance in Your Life
Don’t just try to keep yourself busy all day long to keep your mind from feeling lonely. Make it your intention to enjoy being by yourself.
7 – Connect with Others
Use social media if you find it supportive and encouraging. Connect with like minded people who share your same interests.
If all your friends are in a relationship and looking at their pictures reminds you of how much you would like to be with someone, take a break until you are able to feel happy.
8 – Show Gratitude
Learn to be thankful for the big and small achievements in your life.
Find 10 reasons everyday to be thankful for. It could be your health, access to water, a computer, a phone, your job, friends, favorite drink or food.
9 – Be Yourself
Being true to yourself is a great source of happiness. Do not try to be someone else just to fit in. Learn to be confident in your own skin.
10 – Listen to Music
Music causes the brain to release feel good chemicals such as dopamine. Therefore, anytime we are feeling lonely, sad, stressed, or anxious we can increase our feelings of happiness by listening to our favorite songs. Here you will find how music can make you happy.
11 – Practice Self-care
Happiness depends on a healthy body and mind. Therefore, exercising, sleeping well, and eating nutritious food are a good starting point.
In conclusion, we can be happy alone even if we wish we were in a relationship by following these easy steps to nurture ourselves like that special person we are looking for.